Unconditional love

As parent we might not be aware of sibling rivalry among our children. If the rivalry is very obvious we might think our children are behaving badly and we sometimes punish them severely. If the rivalry is very subtle we tend to overlook.I realised the existence of the rivalry among my four children only after they grew up and I became wiser ( as one grow older ). I am thankful that I tackled the matter wisely like saying the right thing at the right time. Otherwise without realising I could have made them feel unhappy ( dissatified ) all their life.

My two daughters are very close. They played together all the time and rarely quarrel when they were small.One day the elder sister came to me (she was 10 at that time) and told me she did't like it when her friends came to play with her but tend to play with the sister too. She even asked me who is prettier,she or her sister.I assured her that she is prettier, but she said her friends always told her that her sister is pretty. I told her they said like that because your sister is still small and she did't go to school yet.

I was really amazed when four years later my youngest daughter popped the same question of "who is prettier, me or my sister" when she was about 10 years old. I then assured her that she is prettier. She then questioned me if she is prettier, then why did her friends said kakak is pretty? I told her that was because kakak is already in secondary school.To the two girls the answer I gave was satisfying enough at that time and it made them happy. Eventually ( when they were in college )I told them this story but they didn't seem to remember it at all.

This rivalry thing too happened to my third son and my youngest daughter ever since they were two years old and one year old respectively. Whenever the sister was sitting on my lap he will quietly and slowly sat near me and before I knew it the sister was already on the floor and he was on my lap. Until today I did't know how he did it,either he pushed the sister quietly or he just sat next to her until she felt uncomfortable and moved away.

My third son seemed to be really jealous of the younger sister and he never gave chance to her in anything whenever they were with us. Always the sister just gave in to the brother. But that scheming tiny lady always got what she wanted in the end by letting the brother win first.

When they were away from us he was very protective and looked after her well.They went to the same kindergarten and the sister always tagged along with him whenever he played with his friends. One dissatisfied friend of his complained to his mother why everybody else had three children ( he has got one brother and one sister ) only aunty had four children. The reason for this complaint was because my youngest daughter was a nuisance to him and got into his way whenever he was playing with my third son. Like I said that scheming little lady would't let her to be side stepped!It is "Either I'm in or you are out".

My first son is four years older than my eldest daughter and he went to boarding school after he completed his form three. The other three children got really close to each other since the brother left. The eldest brother then pursued his tertiary education and came back for holidays once a year. When the brother came back things were not like when they were small, he felt he was being left out --three against one. He felt since he was away for too long he was not loved enough by his siblings and even us. He felt we love the three more than we love him. Vice versa, the three of them felt that I love his brother the most for when he came back he got the extra attention.

Well, the first two of my children had already been married I hope when they have children of their own they will know what parents' love is.....that is unconditional love!